"And I Quote"

I’m going to take some time to plagiarize a little  Its only because I find it SO hilarious!

I’m reading Bill Bryson’s “Notes From A Small Island”. I find it funny because good old Bill really nails the British personality. He actually grew up in IA and moved to the UK when he was in his early 20s, he’s married to a British woman and has lived in the UK for years.

I’m also outlining this by saying that I have family in Yorkshire and I’ve been a few times to see them. I don’t know if its completely true, but a lot of the things that they say about English people, I totally see in my grandpa (who was from England) and my mom and, in turn, me as well.

I tried to muffle my laughter as I sat on the plane reading this and found it difficult as it really tickled my proverbial fancy! :)

And I begin my plagiarism…

“And they do things differently in the Dales. For one thing, people come right into your house. Sometimes they knock once and shout “Hullo!” before sticking their heads in, but often they don’t even do that. It’s an unusual experience to be standing at the kitchen sink talking to yourself and doing emphatic raised-leg farts and then turning around to find a fresh pile of mail lying on the kitchen table. And I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve had to dart half-clad into the pantry at the sound of someone’s approach and stood in breathless silence while they’ve shouted, “Hullo! Hullo! Anyone t’home?” For a couple of minutes you can hear them moving about in the kitchen, reading the messages on the fridge, and holding the mail to the light. Then they come over to the pantry door and in a quiet voice they say, “Just taking six eggs, Bill. All right?”

“When we announced to friends and colleagues in London that we were moving to a farming village in Yorkshire, a surprising number betrayed astonishment and said, “Yorkshire? What, with Yorkshire people? How…interesting.” Or words to that effect.”

“I’ve never understood why Yorkshire people have this terrible reputation for being meanspirited and uncharitable. I’ve always found them to be decent and open, and if you want to know your shortcomings, you won’t find more helpful people anywhere. It’s true that they don’t exactly smother you with affection, which takes a little getting used to if you hail from a more gregarious part of the world, like anywhere else. Where I come from in the American Midwest, if you move into a village or little town everybody comes to your house to welcome you like this is the happiest day in the history of the community – and everyone bring you a pie, You get apple pies and cherry pies and chocolate cream pies. There are people in the Midwest who move house every six months just to get the pies.”

In Yorkshire, that would never happen. But gradually, little by little, they find a little corner for you in their hearts, and begin to acknowledge you when they drive past with what I call the Malhamdale wave. This is an exciting day in the life of any new arrival. To make the Malhamdale wave, imagine you are holding a steering wheel. Now take the index finger of your right hand and very slowly extend it, as if you were having a small involuntary spasm. That’s the Malhamdale wave. It doesn’t look like much, but it speaks volumes, believe me, and I shall miss it very much.”

I love Bill Bryson’s writing – if you’ve not read his works at all – it’s a MUST!