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Friday, February 19, 2010

Two Aunties And Some Irony


The view from our condo balcony

As we swooped in to make our landing at the Cyril E. King airport of St Thomas, US Virgin Islands, the black clouds had started to make their appearance.

Our landing was smooth, and as all tropical island deplanings go, it was typical. The aircraft opened at both the front and aft and a dual set of stairs was pushed up in order to let the clamoring tourists escape to their exotic destination to spend dollars and time before returning back to the nitty gritty of life. We were carefully instructed to go slowly down the stairs and DO NOT TAKE PICTURES as we exited (that one I'm sure was hard for many as the view, after the trend of cold in the states, was amazing). We got down the shaky stairs and then headed towards baggage claim, following a zig zaggy sidewalk around the perimeter of the airport building, luckily covered by a shelter as the rain started to pelt down. The black clouds were hanging extremely low over the mountains as we finally came out to the exit and we greeted by two loud, exhuberantly waving Aunties calling "You-hoo!"

After hugs and chatter, we made our way around with another line of passengers to the baggage claim area where mom and one Aunt waited for the bags while I tossed a coin between two of the three rental car counters, trying to remember which rental company I had reserved with. Unfortunately, I stood in a line for 15 minutes at Budget waiting, only to be told at the counter "Sorry, we don't have your reservation", so I had to go next door to Avis to do the same there.
After getting the rental car and then having one Aunt follow me around the parking lot looking for the Avis rental car section, I finally heard the wailing success of the panic button I had pressed 20 times in our venture. We found the car, and I began to find how strange the Island was....

So - here's the crux. From what I know, the island was bought from the Danish by the U.S back in the 1800s (along with St Johns). I believe all of the other Virgin Islands are British so it did surprise me that these two had been owned by the Danish. Anyways - I know there is always a remnant of something left by the British in every previously owned-by-the-British country I've been in, but I had a hard time with what was left behind by the Danes here. So - the cars they drive are typical "American" cars in that the steering wheel is on the left side of the car like at home. However, THEY DRIVE ON THE LEFT HAND SIDE OF THE ROAD! And whats even crazier is - THE YELLOW LINES ARE STILL IN THE MIDDLE - so, unlike England, where I can always just think, "I'm always by the yellow lines and my passenger is by the white" -- now I have to swap that and think "I'm always by the white lines and my passenger is by the yellow". WHY!!!!!! ST THOMAS!!!!!!! GET WITH THE PROGRAM!!!!! Make up your mind - you're either British or your American.... which side are you going to commit to?????

So, as Aunt June and I drove back by baggage claim to get our bags, we drove past the front of the airport where, on the right side, there was a police SUV pulled over. By the SUV, there was a small grass partition leading up to the parking lot and, in front of a parked SUV, there was a woman lying completely prostrate in front of the car on the grassy area. Lying completely unconscious! And, by the police SUV, two St Thomas police officers where fighting to get a man in the back of the SUV. I'm driving by, all of a sudden realizing what was happening, and Aunt June is chattering away. My eyes are huge and my mouth is open and I say "Oh my word - there was a woman lying on the ground back there!" And Aunt June says "Where?!" Completely missed it and I don't know how! I mean, it was an all out brawl. Too funny! By the way - it did look kind of proverbial trailer trashy so I'm not sure what the deal was.

We get the bags and get them loaded in my car and Aunt June says she's going to drive with me and mom can drive with Auntie Clarece. Trouble. Mom is a talker and Auntie Clarece is a talker (I love them both! :). On top of that, Aunt June warns me, Auntie Clarece doesn't like driving at night AND she always drives very very slow.

I would like to now put in my two cents --- AUNTIE CLARECE DRIVES VERY VERY SLOW.... How slow? you ask. Let me tell you how slow Auntie Clarece drives with a rather tedious, but worthwhile answer.....

We're following Auntie Clarece from the airport and we go down a few roads, very slowly, and the she comes to a light and, mind you we're driving on the left side, she makes a left hand turn on the red light. She follows a car, but there is another car coming and ends up right on her tail and honks his horn. Behind him comes another car, an SUV, and as Aunt June and I are wondering "so can you do a left hand turn on red here?" we all of a sudden see blue flashing lights. Right away, I knew they were going after Auntie Clarece. Sure enough, he pulls her over into a gas station and we follow in and sit back waiting. He rolls down his window and is talking to her and then lets her go so, we follow her out of the gas station.


Auntie Clarece getting pulled over :)

We continue following her through the town, winding up and down the roads on hills. We come to a turn with a light which, as Auntie Clarece is driving up, it turns yellow. Because its red by the time I get to it I have to stop. And then Aunt June starts to "panic" a little because she's not sure how to get home. We finally get a green and zip off - up and down roads trying to find her little white Kia. We're starting to look for hotels in a while as we both figure we're lost on the island and should just wait until morning, when all of a sudden we find her. YEA!

Her condos are in a litte area called "Red Hook" and so we drive that way and, this whole time, they've been talking about a great little restaurant they want to take us to for dinner. We finally get the and, after circling and scouring, we find two parking places.
So - here's the answer to your resounding question - "How slow does Auntie Clarece drive?". We park and get out of our cars and the first thing Aunt June says is "Clarece - I can't believe you got pulled over?! You weren't supposed to turn there on a red, were you?" and Auntie Clarece says "I could turn there - I was fine. He pulled me over because" -- okay, wait for it "I was going too slow." He actually told her "Ma'am, you're going too slow, you need to go faster." WOW! I mean, you get pulled over for going too slow!!! How slow do you have to be going????

Here's the irony part of the story. You know how my last post was about AM I FLYING TO IRELAND? And, as you could tell, I actually wrote that while we were on the plane on the way over. When we landed, as soon as we saw the Aunties, they were both going on about how they were going to take us to this great restaurant in Red Hook, blah blah blah. We get to Red Hook and, you'll never guess what the restaurant was.... It was MOLLY MALONE'S IRISH PUB. Seriously!!!! We're sitting right on the ocean, in tropical weather, listening to some guy belt out "When Irish Eyes Are Smiling" and eating bangers and mash and fish and chips. I had to laugh pretty hard at the irony of that!



Well - its been a treat so far. I'm not great at the patience thing so - now I'm having to triple it. Aunt June isn't so bad, but the other two are always saying "What?" and I'm having to repeat everything I say 20 times but they don't hear because they're talking over me. Two of them talk talk talk talk. Aye! But, they're all having a good time and we enjoyed some sun today before some more raing started pelting us, making us leave the pool and go to the shops. Pooh - I had to buy some cute tops and some new flip flops that are AMAZING -- made out of yoga mats so you just sink down into them. LOVE IT!

I also have had conch fritters two times already! YUM! Its been ages since I used to be in the Bahamas and the Keys all the time since I've had conch fritters. Ok - if you don't know what that is, they're amazing. They're fritters, but they have conch meat in them. If you don't know what conch is, its pronounced "konk" and its the things that live in those big sea shells that you would hold up to your ear to hear the ocean. They've got that pretty pink lining (in fact, I bought a conch ring tonight - its got a stone made out of conch and its really cool!). Take a look at the picture and I'm sure you'll recognize what I'm talking about and may actually have learned something new! :) They make all kinds of yummy stuff with conch, like fritters and soup and stew.



Stay posted for the next episodes of, On An Island With Three Grandmas! Oh - by the way, grandmas aren't so bad - I spent about 10 minutes listening to them tell me how pretty I was and how beautiful my eyes were and my hair and blah blah. It came out of nowhere, I was just standing there and they started. It was quite reaffirming - you should try spending time with grandmas!





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